Tuesday 18 August 2015

Nairobi caretakers spreading virus in estates like wildfire


During the weekend, I accompanied one of my female friends to see her brother in hospital. Her brother has been diagnosed with full blown AIDS and is now in a critical condition.

He never knew he had the virus until it was too late. The guy used to be a caretaker at a flat in Kasarani. After I talked to him for a little while, he opened up on how much he regretted his lifestyle.


During his heydays he lungulad with people’s wives, mboches, young single girls and even mama mbogas. And he was so lucky that he never got caught.

The sad part is that he never used a condom so probably most of his playmates are carrying the virus too. He asked me to tell part of his story as a warning to others.

My friend’s brother though, is hardly the first accomplished caretaker to leverage his position for pleasure and reckless gratification. According to my friend’s bro, most guys in his ‘profession’ are serial players.

They roll around like emperors in their little kingdoms – the residential plots in which they ruthlessly abuse their positions for personal gain. They smash so ferociously you’d think that’s what they were sent on earth to do. In their wake, they leave HIV spreading like a wildfire.
 
Stories of caretaker shagathons are layer cakes of ickiness that are guaranteed to leave you with a stomachache and a shame hangover, On the surface, there’s the sheer grossness of sleeping around with random women without protection, but on the inside, there are worse stories

From my urban connects, I gathered a few interesting narratives. In Kayole for example, there’s one who used to have threesomes with a mboch and the daughter of the house while the mother was away at work.

In Huruma, there’s one nicknamed ‘ninja’ with good reason. Since some of the flats are really close, he jumps from one balcony to another at night in order to sneak into women’s houses and give them a dose of his ‘shuma’ . In Pangani, there’s one know for sleeping with people’s wives with the full knowledge of their husbands. In Zimmerman, there’s another caretaker who rewires electricity cables in the houses of female tenants so that they don’t have to pay for power.

In return, they pay him bills in bed. In Umoja, tenants at a court were recently treated to a triple threat match greater than Wrestlemania between three women who all wanted to be the caretaker’s queen. Even worse, one of the women was about 50 years old

Whether these are actually inflated stories or the unblemished truth, they go about “unclosetting” the hidden and scandalous lives of house managers. Exploring, dissecting and conquering the bodies of women has become the norm for men tasked with overseeing residential properties, and clearly age is no exception from this immoral merry-go-round.

The methods that caretakers use to woo women are complex and sometimes unclear. Some are even rumored to be ‘juju powered’. How else can a man so simple and so ordinary yield so much power over women? I don’t believe in juju but there’s something about these guys, Something that eventually leads to their downfall.

Charming, attentive, interested, witty, flirtatious — these are the admirable traits of caretakers. But these traits are only served to women. These fellas are generally rude to men and fatherly to women. They step down on other men in order to appear mighty in the eyes of the female tenanats. It’s no surprise that they get beaten up all the time.

When you are out looking for a new house and you find a good one, then book it, pray and hope that a chic doesn’t come inquiring about the same house after you. You’ll definitely be called to be informed that the house is no longer available.
Such is the behavior of caretakers.



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